Pope Gives Meat the OK

February 15, 2005

ROME, Italy – In a recent move that has
stunned devout Catholics around the world,
Pope John Paul II declared the church's
followers may eat meat on Fridays during
the holy time of Lent.

The Pope's recent health scare has led
him to reevaluate some of the church's
oldest traditions.  "I never really understood
why we couldn't eat meat," said the Pope in an interview at the Vatican.  "Most of the time I forget
anyways."

In the Catholic faith, the 40 days leading up to Easter, which marks the anniversary of the death
and resurrection of Christ, is known as Lent.  It is traditional that followers may not eat meat on
Fridays during the 40-day observance.  Original tradition dating back to 313 AD had followers
refrain from eating meat, milk, cheese, and eggs for six days a week.  This ritual was later revised
to include only meat and only on Fridays.  

Catholics had mixed reactions.  Jeanette Roberts from Sioux City, Iowa was extremely pleased.  
"This is long overdue.  After a hard week at work, I like to take the kids out to McDonald’s for an
easy dinner.  I just don’t think Christ would have cared.”

Father O'Callaghan from Newark, New Jersey had a different opinion.  “I disagree with the
change.  The Pope is getting old and he may not be thinking too clearly.  All those years of kissing
the ground may have clouded his judgment.”

Rebecca Levine, a Jewish student at the University of California, Berkeley, says this is to be
expected.  “The Catholic Church is still trying to find it’s way.  When Catholics have a tradition that
lasts 4000 years, then they’ll know its a keeper.”

Pope John Paul II has received many challenges about his decision, but he is holding firm.  “It is
time for Catholics to lighten up.  Throughout the course of history, it has always been the Pagans
that got to dance, drink, and party.  They really knew how to have fun.  Now it is time for us to have
a good time.”

The newest Catholic decree is expected to take full effect in the next few days.